Why I am a helmet person.

Well, I'm becoming one anyway.
I'll start by admitting that I never used to be. I was a rotten about wearing one in my youth. My mother insisted I wear one and I'd slip the itchy thing off the second I was out of sight. It was stupid.

For your amusement. Here is a picture of little me wearing a helmet. My mother was watching. (We were looking at a horse for sale- this was a spunky TWH we decided not to get as it was too much horse for me.)


ANYWAY, I got into my teenager years and my poor mother just gave up. She tried bless her heart, and when I started working with my projects she kept trying. I did begin to wear one when I worked green horses and on the first ride of a new auction horse. I wasn't that suicidal.

Overall I wasn't too worried about its use and to be perfectly honest, I hated the feel of wearing a helmet. I still do. I find it sweaty and itchy. (I'm not a hat person).Heck, I didn't even like wearing riding boots.  But now I wear them. Every ride (or nearly), ever time. No matter how safe I think the horse is.

 You may be wondering what changed my mind, and I'll tell you.

 It was this past summer and I was riding with my mother. She was on one of my projects. A very lazy QH gelding. He hated to trot. I was on my slightly nervous/spooky project. I was bareback so I figured if anything bad happened it would be to me. I've fallen off so many times before that I've gotten pretty good at it.

Well something did happen and it didn't happen to me. It happened to my mother. My mother has never been a terribly strong rider, in reality she's more of a passenger. However, she's only ever fallen off a horse twice in her life- this was the second time.

Before the accident.  Check out those tennis shoes.

The ride was going fine, her horse was lagging well behind mine. She was actually bored. Then we went by a turn. At the turn there was a half broken branch. I didn't notice in time (I think I was turned around to tell her something) and it smacked me in the head. My mare got a little tense but I immediately reassured her and tightened my grip on the reins. 

I was going to tell my mother to go around it but I couldn't in time. She and her horse went right under it. The branch snapped. It caught her and knocked her off balance. Then her horse freaked out. This lazy going horse who couldn't care less flipped his shit. He started bucking. I turned around when it started, I knew my mother was going to come off so I started turning my mare around. 

She did, but one of her legs came out of the stirrup first and the other flew up in the air. I was afraid she was going to be drug. Then she hit the ground. She hit hard. In one of the only rocky areas of the trail. She hit her head on a rock. Her horse took off back to camp. 

It all happened in a flash.

I had jumped off my horse at this point and rushed over to her. 

"Mom are you okay?" I said, expecting that my mother would answer me saying she was sore but unhurt. That's just how things work. Bad accidents don't happen to *me*  they happen to other, faceless people. 

I didn't get a reply. This made me go cold. I was terrified. More so when I bent down and saw blood under her head. I honestly thought she was dead at first.

I listened and she was breathing. But it was labored, she was trying to take in little gasps. Clearly all the air had been knocked out of her lungs. I tied my horse to a tree. Our dogs were circling my mother, trying to figure out what was wrong. I shooed them away. 

Luckily, I had taken a class at my college called 'responding to emergencies'. I was (I need to get it renewed) first responder certified. 

My mother still wasn't responding to me. She was just lying there, groaning in painful gasps. I asked her to squeeze my hand if she wanted me to call 911. She squeezed. So I called them. 

We were on a trail ride in a place of 4,000 acres. We were not on a road and they needed directions. My mother was the one who knew what road it was. 

I was a little frantic on the call: "My mother is hurt, she was bucked off a horse and she hit her head. She's bleeding and unresponsive but she seems conscious. You need to send someone."

Then we went into the  "where are you at?" 

During this we had to try and decide if the riding place was in my town's district or if another one would be closer. Also roads. I had no idea what road we took to get there or what road we were on. The lady did not seem to get the concept of "We're on a TRAIL, not a road."

Then my mother opened her eyes. I told her not to sit up because she was hurt. She asked: "Did I fall off?"

"Yes mom, you fell off."

I was relieved, my mother couldn't be too badly hurt if she was asking questions! 

Then she paused and asked, "Did I fall off?"

My heart dropped. She was not okay. My mother was very, very not okay. 

"Yes mom, you fell off."

"Where's my horse?"

"He's gone somewhere, don't worry about him."

"You need to get him!"

"MOM, do not worry about the stupid horse! He's fine!"

*pause*

"Did I fall off?"

"Yes mom, you fell off."

"Oh. Where's my horse?"

"He's fine... he's tied up over there *vague gesture*"  (In these situations it can be a good thing to lie to them to keep them from getting anxious and trying to move.) 

During all this I was still bouncing between the lady on 911 and my mother. 

"Who are you talking to?"

"I called 911, they're sending an ambulance."

"No, I'm fine. Tell them not to come."

"Mom, you are NOT fine."

"No, let me talk to them..."

So I put my mother on the phone, where she tried to convince the lady that she didn't need an ambulance.

The lady was not convinced. 

I took the phone back, we were still trying to figure out how to get them to our location. They eventually put a trace on the gps in my phone. 

Throughout all this my mother was still asking if she'd fallen off. Thankfully her head stopped bleeding badly.

My mother said she was going to try to sit up. I disagreed. My mother, being the insanely stubborn thing that she is, ignored me. She sat up wincing. 

The lady on the phone told me to ask her if she was hot. (It's Arkansas in the summer- it's roasting.)

She said she was. The lady told me to pour water over her so I did. She was pretty scratched up. I took her fanny pack off so she could breathe easier. 

That's about when my mother noticed my horse was anxiously pacing around the tree. 

"She's going to freak out, you need to go get her!"

"She's fine, I'm not worried about her, I'm worried about you."

"She's going to break the rope, you need to go get her. I'm fine, go get her!"

I was annoyed but I did it. 

Then: "She's going to step on me!"

So I tied her back up.

"You need to go get her! She's going to freak out!"

I finally snapped.

"I do not care right now, I am not worried about her and you do not need to worry about her. She will be fine. Or she will run off, I really don't care at the moment. She will deal with it. You need to sit still and keep cool."

My mother was a little shocked. What you need to keep in mind during all this was that she would occasionally still turn  to me and ask, very confused, if she fell off or had gotten bucked off. 

Then she said she was going to try to stand up. I vetoed this one. She said her arm hurt but she was just going to try to stand up.

Short of physically restraining her nothing I could do would convince her otherwise. She tried to stand up. 

She got on her feet but her knees were bent. An immediate look of pain flashed across her face. 

"I think I need to sit." So I helped her back down. I made a little pillow out of my shirt so she could lay down. 

She said she was a little sleepy, I told her she absolutely could not sleep. 

A minute or so later: "I hear sirens..."

"Good" 

 I told the lady who was still on the phone, bless her, that we heard sirens. I explained what the main building looked like and the nearest road that came by our area. 

We were lucky, if we'd been just ten minutes further down the path they would have had a really hard time getting to us as there was a very large, steep hill. 

The lady told me to yell for help and that they'd be listening. I was yelling but nothing. I heard them come closer and then start to fade a little. 

"Tell them they went too far and they need to come back. I'm going to take my horse, she's a flashy paint, and go closer to the road. Tell them to look for a red and white horse and a person waving."

"Mom will you be okay?

"I'm fine..."

I left her talking to the lady and ran towards the road. They saw me and started to follow, I returned to my mother. 

My mother immediately started worrying that the ambulances would hit our dogs. (We have an aussie cross and border collie cross). I told the lady on the phone to tell the drivers to watch for out dogs. 

Mom was not reassured and insisted on holding on to both dogs collars, keeping them close to her. 

I thanked the lady and told her that they were here now. I hung up. It took them about twenty minutes to a half hour to get to us I believe.

The ambulance people asked my mother a few questions. I told them a list of her known allergies, that I believed she had a concussion and where she'd hit her head. They told us they were going to lift my mother onto the stretcher but that it would probably hurt. (It did.)

When she was on the stretcher, about to go on the ambulance, she started freaking out. She was worried about how I and the dogs were going to get back to camp. I told her I would ride back and lead the ambulance.  One of the truck drivers offered to put the dogs in the back of their truck for the drive back. My mother calmed down.

That was when I noticed my horse had broken my reins, so I tied them back on. One of the people gave me a boost onto my horse and we started back at a brisk trot and then a lope. I was quite proud of my mare. This was a new place and we were leading the police cars and an ambulance back to camp as well as several trucks.

I called my father to tell him mom was hurt and to get to the damn hospital NOW.
I think he was in a meeting. He didn't pick up. I left a rather irate voice mail saying that mom was hurt, she was going to the hospital and he needed to meet her there. He called me back a minute or so later. So I was cantering back, bareback with a broken rein, two dogs following (they jumped out of the truck), talking on the phone with one hand, and a line of cars followed us. My mare never offered to try anything. She knew it was time to buckle down and she did it.

My good girl and our dogs, before the accident.

I got a call from my mother saying one of the volunteers at camp had caught her horse and could help me load them.  He had run back to the trailer. She was worried about me driving the horse trailer back alone and unloading the two horses. Having driven the trailer a number of times by myself I was not concerned.

I got a call from my dad:
"Mom called me and said she's fine and that  I need to meet you at the house and help you unload."
"Mom is lying. She is not fine and you absolutely will not help me unload you will go straight to the emergency room and stick with mom. Ignore whatever she says."
"Okay."

I arrived back at base camp and the ambulance stuck around, at my mothers insistence (have I mentioned that she's stubborn?), until I had loaded both horses. Then I signaled go and they went to the hospital.

I thanked the volunteer and got back to my house as quickly as possible, unloaded both horses, grabbed moms purse and booked it for the hospital.

I rushed into the ER and the guy at the desk asked me who I was there to see, I told him my mother had fallen off a horse and I was the one who had seen it. He helped me find her room and tried to reassure me by saying I needed to relax and be strong. Shockingly this did not calm me down at all. I wanted to hear that my mother was fine goddammit.

I saw my mother. She was grimacing; the endorphin's from the fall had worn off and the pain was setting in.
"Did you get them unloaded okay?"
"Yes mom."
"Oh.... did I get bucked off? I don't remember falling off..."
"Yes mom, you fell off." 
"Can I have some pain medicine?"
"No mom, I'm sorry but you hit your head and I think you have a concussion."
"I hurt all over...."
"I know mommy,  I'm really sorry...."

Then they took her to get a brain scan, loading her up on the other bed was painful for her. They came back and said she didn't have a concussion. I was very unconvinced.
Then began the process of my mother trying to get comfortable- she couldn't find a way, and of nurses failing to bring things they said they would. Such as a cup of water and some ice. I asked several times and nothing. Finally I stepped into the hall and grabbed a nurse:
"Oh!I thought someone already brought that to you, let me go grab it." 

Then they tried to give her some medication. I asked what it was because my family has a history of medication allergies. They said some type and my mother said she thought that was what had sent her father into the ER last year. They said those types of allergies weren't hereditary. I told them to find another type anyway.

I don't think the people in the hospital liked me very much but I didn't really care. Apparently I really am my mothers daughter. My father was just sort of sitting there in shock.

Then they took her for a full body scan.
It turns out that she had broken her left hip at the socket and her right clavicle. (We didn't realize until later that the hip had been a stress break ((it broke in the air)) and the clavicle had broken from the impact.) That's why there was no comfortable place for her to lay. Now remember that she had A. tried to stand up. B. Held both of our large dogs to her.

They said they thought they would have to do a full hip replacement. When the doctor came in he said they would operate within an hour or so and that he thought they could just pin it. They wouldn't know for 6 months to a year if it would work and the blood vessels would heal. They might still need to do a replacement.

They took her up to surgery and I again had to argue with them to not give my mother something that could potentially put her into epileptic shock. Then they discussed the best way to sedate- full knock out or a medicine so she'd just forget the pain? We went with the second.

It wasn't until she was in the operation room I really started to freak out and start crying. I hadn't before because my mother needed me.
Anyway, they operation only took about 40 minutes. I was surprised. I stayed until she regained conciseness in her room.

Her first question: "Do you think I'm going to have to stay here overnight?"
"Yes mom."
"I don't remember anything that happened."
"That's probably a good thing..."
"At least they didn't have to use sirens for me!"
".... .... ...." 

Several weeks later

She had to be in a wheelchair for around 6 months and then use a walker. This is the woman that never sits still for 5 minutes. We had to yell at her to stop trying to do things.

It's been a little under a year now and her arm has healed well despite originally causing her more pain than the hip. Her hip however actually appears to be worse. It hasn't healed and still hurts quite often. Also one leg is considerably shorter than the other due to the pins being wonky. . She's going to need a full replacement.  So she's been telling her doctors that something was wrong for months and they haven't listened. It wasn't until they did a full scan (not an xray) that showed that something was actually quite wrong that they suddenly started being all attentive and listening and helpful... .


So, that went a lot more in depth than I meant for, but talking about it is cathartic. I felt incredibly guilty for a very long time because she was riding my project horse (I still do a little) despite no one blaming me but myself.

The point I've been trying to make is that accidents are just that- accidental. No one plans on having one and they can happen to anybody. On any horse- no matter how safe you think they may be. They are still a horse.

Would a helmet have protected my mother from breaking her hip or clavicle? No.
Would a helmet have helped her head and probably allow her to be conscious enough to answer questions? Yes.
It would have saved me the panic of seeing my mother lying on the ground, motionless, and seeing blood coming out of her head.
It would have saved me the terror I felt when she kept repeating "did I fall off?" and I thought she might have permanent brain damage.

I still feel sick to my stomach thinking about it. It was the single most terrifying moment of my life. Seeing a parent or a child in that state is awful. I wouldn't wish it upon my worst enemy.

So now I wear a helmet every ride; no matter if I'm riding a new horse or my own horse. If i'm riding on the trail or in the pasture- bareback or with a saddle, western or English  I'm wearing my helmet. Not wearing one is stupid and selfish.  It doesn't matter if you're an adult or a child, helmets are important and should be a part of every riding outfit.

It may not be pleasant, but it's a hell of a lot more so than the alternative.
This is why I will yell at people when I see them without a helmet. Does this make me a helmet Nazi? Probably. Do I care? NO.

When people come to try my horses and I hand them a helmet they look at me like I'm an alien. So I just say: "After you see a loved one lying on the ground unresponsive, you'll understand why helmets are for everyone."

My mother will probably never be able to ride again. I'm not sure that I'd let her or that she'd have the nerve to get back on. I certainly wouldn't on her spunky little paso mare. Like I said before, she was never a very strong rider but she still enjoyed it. It's not a happy story and while my mother is thankfully okay mentally, it was still a bad accident.

So I'm using it to explain to others why I feel so strongly about helmet use now. Hopefully I can change one persons mind and it will make a difference.




*Update*

The hip ended up not healing right and they had to do a full replacement. Her leg had healed 3 inches higher on that side. At the replacement (at a much better hospital) they got it back to nearly normal.  She has since ridden a horse once at the ranch I worked at, although she was very nervous. But she still has yet to ride her own horse, which is probably good as she's a spunky thing.