Rider: “Can we gallop?”
Me: *laughing* “No.”
Rider: “Why not? Your boss doesn’t have to know.”
Me: “Sir, if I let you gallop you would fall off. We can trot however.”
Rider: “What’s the difference?”
Me: “Well, right now we’re walking. The next speed up is a trot, after that is a canter, after a canter the next speed is a hand gallop, then a full gallop and finally a run.”
Rider: “Oh… So can we gallop now? I mean trot!”
Me: “….sure.”
Begin trotting:
Rider: “Why didn’t you tell me it’d be so bouncy?
Me: “Try this.” (demonstrate proper seat and posting.)
Rider: “How the heck are you sitting for this? How come I cant do that?”
Me: “Well this is my job and I’ve been riding for my entire life so… I’ve had a bit more practice.”
Eventually I just stopped explaining.
Rider: “Can we gallop!?”
Me: *begins trotting*
Rider: “Oh my god, slow down!”
Me: “Sure thing.”
Me: “So do you guys want to try going a litter faster?”
Riders: “I guess…”
Me: “Okay! Just say stop when you want to slow back down and that’s exactly when I’ll stop.”
*All the girls in the group* “WEEEEEEEE!! This is awesome!”
*All the guys in the group* “Oh. my. God. Make it STOPPPPP.”
Me: “Everyone okay?”
Guys: “Err… is there, umm, a way to make this more, ah, comfortable? “
Girls: “Oh, it’s not that bad.”
Guys: *grumble grumble*
Me: *laughing* “No worries, I get that all the time, just do this.” (demonstrates posting)
Guys: “Thank you. Seriously.”
Rider: “This stupid horse wont do anything I want! *screams* What’s he doing?!!?”
Me: “She’s turning around. It helps if you hold the reins.”
Rider: “Oh.. what are those?”
Me: “The things I showed you how to use at the beginning of the ride and that everyone else is holding.”
Rider: “Oh. You’re right. He’s doing better now.”
We’re literally booked solid during the week around Halloween, I was the only trail guide and I worked from early morning until after sunset. I have people waiting to ride from the moment I get the current riders loaded up so I’m supposed to hurry back as soon as possible.
Riders: “Hey, do you think, I know most places wont let you, we could maybe trot?”
Me: “Well… I guess so.”
Riders a little while later: “Do you think we could try cantering?”
Me: “You know it will shorten your ride some right?”
Riders: “We don’t care.”
Me: “Well…. Okay. Just don’t tell my boss okay?”
Riders: “You are the best trail guide ever! We promise we wont tell!”
Me: “Awh, thanks! I’m only doing this because you guys are doing so well and I know you can handle it.”
At the end of the ride they tipped me a twenty and said thanks for an awesome… slow ride.
My boss after they leave: “You got back in good time. Did you trot a lot?”
Me: “Yep. Even cantered, I told them it’d cut down on time and they didn’t care.”
Boss: “Awesome.”
Me: “Hey, you should emphasize the no running part to the next group. Pretending that they’re special and that only they get to do it, it gets me a good tip!”
Bahahaha!
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