I'm realizing this. For real.
I hate confrontation, I really, really do. Despite this character flaw, I realize I'm not very tactful. This leads to all kinds of squirmy discomfort when it comes to selling horses.
For example, we had some people come out. They were abrupt on the first call, but apparently passed my mothers approval on the second one since they were allowed to come out.
Unfortunately Loki boy threw a shoe on a trail ride and has apparently bruised his frog- which of course didn't show up until people came to look at him. So the people came out, and I immediately disliked them, and not just a little bit.
Don't ask me why, my gut feeling just did not like them. It wasn't that they weren't knowledgeable or that they didn't take care of their horses, because they were and they clearly do. I don't doubt that they provide excellent care for a minute.
But I still didn't like them. Honestly I don't even know if it was anything personal.
Since that was when Loki decided to be a little off on that foot on that day, we nixed them riding and they asked us to call them if he was feeling better. I was so relieved.
Why? Because then I wouldn't have to try to explain why I didn't want to sell them my horse for no apparent reason. Even if it is in all my ads. (It's that darn confrontation hating thing again) I figured they'd forget or lose interest, especially if we never happened to err, call them back.
Apparently not, and they're still very interested. We told them he still wasn't completely back to normal yet, which is true. But if they call back again I'm going to have to deliver the not so good news, that or they're going to have to work exceptionally hard to convince me they'd be the right home.
I do think I've finally figured out why my gut said no- I saw them exhibit all the signs of a knowledgeable horse person, they looked at all the right things and what not. But I never saw them try to make any kind of emotionally connection or a bond with the horse. While they'd provide a good home for him, it's not the kind of a home I want him to go to.
This is a horse who absolutely loves people and being around them. He is an inherently happy horse and he clearly wants to connect with 'his person'. I've had horses that could care less about that and so the above kind of home would be fine for them. But Loki does care, and I want the kind of home where someone is going to adore him and spend time with him for fun- not just riding or work.
Lacey's new mommy (who bought her the same day the other stuff happened) fell in love with her- and was willing to make it work even if things weren't always easy. She enjoyed being around her and was immediately protective of her. She wanted Lacey to like her as much as she liked Lacey. This is the kind of home that I like. This is the kind of home I want for Loki.
And now I have to try to figure out a nice way to tell someone, who's not been rude or awful, that I don't think they're that home for my horse. Actually, the lack of emotional connection is the nicest phrasing I've come up with so far.
Logically I don't think there's anything wrong with the pairing. But emotionally I do. So I've had to ask myself the question, would I regret selling him to them? The answer my gut said was yes. My gut is what helps me pick out horses from the auction- and when I listen to it I usually come home with a wonderful horse- but when I listen to my head only, it's a mixed bag.
So now I have to get over my dislike for confrontation and find some damn tact. Bugger.
In other news I will be going to the auction tomorrow. So, do you guys want an auction report? Yay or neigh? (pun fully intended)
Just a thought...When I look at a horse, I am not warm and fuzzy. I tend to be a little removed. I don't want emotion to buy my horse. I need to see crooked legs, funny "somethings" that I'll think on later. I want to get past behaviors I may like or dislike and observe the horse as close to who the animal really is, not the one I want it to be. So I may not be bonding like a seller might hope for. I become very suspicious of a seller who pushes the emotional side of a horse - unless I know the seller well, then I would just say, "Stop that and let me look!"
ReplyDeleteOn the flip side, my personal horses stay with me for their lifetime, healthy and cared for. My investment horses are placed as carefully as yours...
Please post an auction report, I like to read them and think about what I "might" have brought home. I haven't been since we moved to AR....I'm too old and too fragile to buy/resell and I can't afford to fall in love with another horse. I've got five I've promised lifetime homes and a husband I've promised no more horses.
ReplyDeleteSee, I'm not at all opposed to people looking over the horses critically, that's totally fine. But I do want an emotional bond, not for all of them, but for horses that seem to want it as well. I think it's entirely possible to find a mix of both. I do- even at auction.
ReplyDeleteLast night there was a drop dead gorgeous true black TWH mare- long flowing mane, forelock down to her nose about, good feet, registered with superb lines- pusher on her papers, broke to ride. She reminded me of my friesian cross mare that I adored and want back, and I fell in love with her instantly. But on my second round, another side came out. A pissy side that kept trying to bite me just for petting her neck. Not a little nip, but trying to take a chomp out of me. Very clearly saying she wanted me to F- off. Another person said she'd seen her come in and she was a kicker. But then a guy came up to her and she relaxed and put her head down. Apparently she prefers men because she was fine with them. But she was not fine with women or me.
I wanted this horse, and she didn't come home with me.
I just like to see an owner get excited about my horse, I don't do the play it cool 'try to down talk the horse' thing. That just tells me you don't really want my horse, I won't take less, I just won't sell to them. Now if they tell me how much they like my horse, how much they want them and how good of a home they'll give them, I'll happily go down in price.
I'm weird like that. Then again, I've met too many people who just use a horse and then dump them, in my area. It's much more common than people who actually want a relationship with their horse. It's really just a personal preference. I figure if I can find a good owner who'll take great care of them for life and who has an emotional bond with them, why settle for less?
Also, HBGG, you're in luck. I didn't get a horse last night so you get two auction reports! And I get to drive well over an hour, again, to sit through another sale. Hoorayyy.... Arg.