Then and Now

Max does better when people aren't around. Younger me would have thought he was this way because he liked to show off and knew they were watching. Current me thinks that it's because I'm tense when being watched.  Which, be prepared for a shock, makes him being worse MY fault.  I know, it's crazy. A stiff horse being that way because of the rider? Say it ain't so!

Well it is. It's a hard harsh fact that a lot of riders don't learn until they're older, if ever. Why? Because as humans we want to believe that we are superior to our horse and we want to believe we're doing things the right way. We might even really believe we are doing things the right way. We just want the horse to loosen up, stay on the bit, and do what we ask. Our horse wants us to relax our bodies, get centered on their backs and focus.

As humans we SUCK at staying focused and present. We do, our minds wander constantly. I'm no exception. I did have a horse who I called my "Zen Master" horse because if I wasn't totally in the moment, she'd act up and get incredibly choppy.

Anyway, there are a lot of things that I believed as a youth about horse behavior that I now recognize as utter bullshit. These were things I was told by parents, siblings and instructors.

"Can't let him get away with that, he's just trying to be a brat."
- Or he's trying to tell me something about how I'm riding or what he's feeling.

"He's not really scared of it, he just wants to be lazy and cut that corner."
- Or he's actually not okay with that area for some reason, maybe in my mind I see him acting up by that corner before we get there every time and I'm playing on his fear."

"He's spooky because he's afraid of everything."
Well, why is he afraid of everything, am I a poor leader? Have I earned his trust and proven myself to him? Have I taken the time to show him new things?

"He doesn't want to be caught because he doesn't want to work."
- Okay, why doesn't he want to work? Am I pushing him too hard? Does my riding suck? Does he not understand the things I ask him to do? Is he tired and sore because he's out of shape? Does my tack fit well and not cause him discomfort? And on and on...

All these things had one thing in common, they put the blame on the horse. But if horses are really just mirroring our actions, posture and emotions...... maybe we should be blaming ourselves. But no one wants to, it's not fun or easy. But it's what usually needs to be done to improve.

I swear, when I'm older I'm going to write a damn book called "It's not the horse, it's YOU". I don't expect it would sell very well or get a lot of positive reviews but honestly, the number of questions I get from people that are clearly their fault is staggering.

With horses I've sold I always get the  "He does X and Y and bla bla bla" MY response is usually "Well, what are you doing?"

The real question, is why did these people tell me these things? Did they not want to think deeper, did they really not understand or were they just too lazy? I honestly most of it comes from the fact that they want to keep clients. Parent's don't want to hear it was little Susie's fault her horse threw her and broke her arm.  Most adults don't want to hear the that when it comes to their hobby.


There is certainly a fine line between being unnecessarily harsh and being tactfully honest. It's learning how to walk it that's challenging.