Okay, so I've told you about my plans to go on an adventure abroad to explore and improve my riding and horsemanship in Europe. (Particularly Spain, France, Italy and Ireland) I've found places I'd like to learn at and now I'm working on my letter to contact these families/stables. The program is workaway.info and families post ads looking for help- you help out and they house you and feed you, and in other cases teach you as well.
I've never done anything like this before so I'm asking all my blog friends, if you had posted an ad like this, what you would want to see or hear from an applicant? Remember, they're going to be living with you and your family and horses- in my case for about a month each. What would make you prefer one person to another?
Or, what would you say if it was you applying?
Thanks in advance my bloggy friends! In other news, I'm never using that phrase again because it sounds awful and disgusting.
Wednesday, January 29, 2014
And it begins...
Well I finally have Blue listed for sale. I've given up on making him a laid back but still very responsive horse. I've settled for laid back and safe. It's what most people need anyway to be honest.
I've already had someone interested in him as a playday horse for their child and a possible barrel horse in the future... .... ..... Now, I've stressed just how damn laid back and lazy this horse is. He'd be a fine kids horse and a great buddy.... but anything more than casual trail or even western pleasure (he's slow enough....) is a bit unrealistic.
There's nothing wrong with this particular persons inquiry (I've had some doozies in the past!) but it raises a question for me: why, oh why, do I only get these emails about horses that I specifically say wouldn't be good for those events?! Why don't I get them about the horses that I say would be good for speed events?! The ones that are responsive and have speed and agility, not the ones that you make your legs tired trying to get them to go?
I lose a little faith in humanity whenever I sell a horse. If I say I have a horse that is barely green and absolutely not safe for beginners I get calls wanting them for a kids horse! If I say I have a kids horse, I get late teens wanting a barrel horse. *Facepalm* I write annoyingly long and detailed ads, and I write out an after purchase packet and tips page on all my horses so they go to the right home and get the right care. But I do this so people don't have to get excited about a horse that's not suitable for them.
I just wish it'd work...
Bah!
Here are some pictures of my Blue Boy.
I've already had someone interested in him as a playday horse for their child and a possible barrel horse in the future... .... ..... Now, I've stressed just how damn laid back and lazy this horse is. He'd be a fine kids horse and a great buddy.... but anything more than casual trail or even western pleasure (he's slow enough....) is a bit unrealistic.
There's nothing wrong with this particular persons inquiry (I've had some doozies in the past!) but it raises a question for me: why, oh why, do I only get these emails about horses that I specifically say wouldn't be good for those events?! Why don't I get them about the horses that I say would be good for speed events?! The ones that are responsive and have speed and agility, not the ones that you make your legs tired trying to get them to go?
I lose a little faith in humanity whenever I sell a horse. If I say I have a horse that is barely green and absolutely not safe for beginners I get calls wanting them for a kids horse! If I say I have a kids horse, I get late teens wanting a barrel horse. *Facepalm* I write annoyingly long and detailed ads, and I write out an after purchase packet and tips page on all my horses so they go to the right home and get the right care. But I do this so people don't have to get excited about a horse that's not suitable for them.
I just wish it'd work...
Bah!
Here are some pictures of my Blue Boy.
My half chaps finally came and I'm happy!
Tuesday, January 21, 2014
No deposit, no horse!
This is my motto when it comes to selling horses. I don't do 'holds' without a deposit (it can be as low as $50) because I've had too many flakes. That's one reason. The other reason is crazy people.
Here's the story: I had a beginner/kid safe gaited horse I was selling, nothing spectacular to look at and nothing amazing as far as training (she didn't even turn when I got her). But she was a good natured girl and didn't mind beginners so I had a lot of interest. I had a lot of strange people call about her but one family in particular is ingrained in my mind.
It was a mother and father and their son who I believe was 10-11 years old? Anyway, they came out to see the horse and it's a mark of my girls patience that she didn't toss that obnoxious brat. It was another one of those 'this is why I'm not breeding' moments. The kid would not listen to a damn thing I said or his parents said and he was an ungrateful little twerp.
While I was showing her to them, they ran over the normal time and the next people who were scheduled to see her showed up. So I asked them to wait while I finished up, they didn't mind. The family decided they liked the mare and wanted to do a vet/farrier check. Which is A-Okay by me (so long as you're paying for it). They asked if they could have their vet/farrier come out in a couple of days. I said that was fine. I even said if they could get him out within 2 days I wouldn't let any other people, besides the ones there now, obviously, see her.
Now there's where the problem occurred. I assumed, logically, that if you really like a horse and are serious you put a deposit down OR you accept the risk of the horse being sold. I assumed you would know there are other potential buyers who are interested when you physically run into them while viewing the horse. That should be obvious. Oh, and did I mention the second people had driven down from Wisconsin or somewhere near there to see her?
So the first group left and I showed her to the second people. They really liked her as well but it was getting dark and they didn't get to ride as long as they wanted to. They asked if they could finish viewing her in the morning. I thought that was more than reasonable so I agreed. They came back the following morning, bright and early (ugh), tried her and still liked her. So they bought her and loaded her up to go home. Honestly I liked them a lot more than the first group anyway.
So I did the nice seller thing to do and called the first people to tell them the other group had taken the horse. I could have been rude and just waited to tell them when/if they called (I've had sellers do that and I think it's awful). I talked to the mother and she sounded disappointed and I apologized for her luck/the outcome.
I figured everything was settled and I could go back to business as usual. Boy was I wrong.
Twenty minutes later I got a call from the father.
Man: "How DARE you sell my sons horse?! He loved that horse! You just broke my wife's heart and my sons heart and it's your fault they can't stop crying! What kind of a terrible awful person does something like that?! " (and so on for several minutes)
Me: "Well, I guess I figured you knew that was a possibility since the other people were standing in my yard watching and waiting for you guys to leave. They drove all the way from Wisconsin to see her."
Man: "Yeah, but I didn't think they were actually seriously interested."
Me: "...They drove from Wisconsin. To Arkansas." (The newer, snarkier me would just say 'Well that's your fucking fault now, isn't it?')
Man: "You promised you wouldn't show her to any other people before our vet could come out! If I'd known that you were going to lie I would have put a deposit down!"
Me: "I said I wouldn't show her to anyone besides the people who were already there. I didn't. They liked her and they paid for her. Sorry but it's done."
*Insert more angry swearing and insults before slamming the phone down.*
I thought that was ridiculous, dramatic and I even felt bad. (I wouldn't now. Not even a little bit. Now I'd probably just say 'sorry, I don't sell to jackasses.') But at least that was over with... I thought. Spoiler alert- it wasn't.
A few minutes later he called back. Grimacing, I answered the phone.
Me: "Yes?"
Man: "Is it a matter on money? Because we will pay you more than your asking price, today, if you'll sell her to us instead. We want her."
Me: " No, it is absolutely not a matter of money. I would never stoop so low as to do that to someone! That's awful! I already said they could buy the horse and they paid me for her. I'm not going to cancel that because someone made me a better offer. That is awful. Then I actually would be a liar. Plus she's already well on her way home with them. She's gone. It's done. Good luck with your horse hunt."
Then I hung up. Thankfully that actually was the end of it. It was still ridiculous and stressful- 17 year old me wasn't nearly as self confident.
So that folks, is the real reason I don't hold horses without a deposit. I say non-refundable but if you have to cancel the sale due to reasons you can't control I'll refund the money, even though I'm out the time I could have used to sell the horse.
I had someone have to cancel a sale because their barn wanted lifetime long proof of vaccinations and vet history. Since I work with auction horses, this was a bit of an issue. I understand their reasoning but how many beginner safe, 12 year old horses for under a thousand dollars actually have lifetime proof of vaccination records on hand? Heck, most of the horses in my area don't even have vaccinations, period.
So that's my story. Sometime soon remind me to tell the story of why I always use a bill of sale/contract! I've got two doozies for that one! Both of which took off years of my life and probably gave me quite a few gray hairs. I'll let you know for sure if I ever stop dying it.
To end it on a better note, here's a photo update on Moose Man.
Here's the story: I had a beginner/kid safe gaited horse I was selling, nothing spectacular to look at and nothing amazing as far as training (she didn't even turn when I got her). But she was a good natured girl and didn't mind beginners so I had a lot of interest. I had a lot of strange people call about her but one family in particular is ingrained in my mind.
It was a mother and father and their son who I believe was 10-11 years old? Anyway, they came out to see the horse and it's a mark of my girls patience that she didn't toss that obnoxious brat. It was another one of those 'this is why I'm not breeding' moments. The kid would not listen to a damn thing I said or his parents said and he was an ungrateful little twerp.
While I was showing her to them, they ran over the normal time and the next people who were scheduled to see her showed up. So I asked them to wait while I finished up, they didn't mind. The family decided they liked the mare and wanted to do a vet/farrier check. Which is A-Okay by me (so long as you're paying for it). They asked if they could have their vet/farrier come out in a couple of days. I said that was fine. I even said if they could get him out within 2 days I wouldn't let any other people, besides the ones there now, obviously, see her.
Now there's where the problem occurred. I assumed, logically, that if you really like a horse and are serious you put a deposit down OR you accept the risk of the horse being sold. I assumed you would know there are other potential buyers who are interested when you physically run into them while viewing the horse. That should be obvious. Oh, and did I mention the second people had driven down from Wisconsin or somewhere near there to see her?
So the first group left and I showed her to the second people. They really liked her as well but it was getting dark and they didn't get to ride as long as they wanted to. They asked if they could finish viewing her in the morning. I thought that was more than reasonable so I agreed. They came back the following morning, bright and early (ugh), tried her and still liked her. So they bought her and loaded her up to go home. Honestly I liked them a lot more than the first group anyway.
So I did the nice seller thing to do and called the first people to tell them the other group had taken the horse. I could have been rude and just waited to tell them when/if they called (I've had sellers do that and I think it's awful). I talked to the mother and she sounded disappointed and I apologized for her luck/the outcome.
I figured everything was settled and I could go back to business as usual. Boy was I wrong.
Twenty minutes later I got a call from the father.
Man: "How DARE you sell my sons horse?! He loved that horse! You just broke my wife's heart and my sons heart and it's your fault they can't stop crying! What kind of a terrible awful person does something like that?! " (and so on for several minutes)
Me: "Well, I guess I figured you knew that was a possibility since the other people were standing in my yard watching and waiting for you guys to leave. They drove all the way from Wisconsin to see her."
Man: "Yeah, but I didn't think they were actually seriously interested."
Me: "...They drove from Wisconsin. To Arkansas." (The newer, snarkier me would just say 'Well that's your fucking fault now, isn't it?')
Man: "You promised you wouldn't show her to any other people before our vet could come out! If I'd known that you were going to lie I would have put a deposit down!"
Me: "I said I wouldn't show her to anyone besides the people who were already there. I didn't. They liked her and they paid for her. Sorry but it's done."
*Insert more angry swearing and insults before slamming the phone down.*
I thought that was ridiculous, dramatic and I even felt bad. (I wouldn't now. Not even a little bit. Now I'd probably just say 'sorry, I don't sell to jackasses.') But at least that was over with... I thought. Spoiler alert- it wasn't.
A few minutes later he called back. Grimacing, I answered the phone.
Me: "Yes?"
Man: "Is it a matter on money? Because we will pay you more than your asking price, today, if you'll sell her to us instead. We want her."
Me: " No, it is absolutely not a matter of money. I would never stoop so low as to do that to someone! That's awful! I already said they could buy the horse and they paid me for her. I'm not going to cancel that because someone made me a better offer. That is awful. Then I actually would be a liar. Plus she's already well on her way home with them. She's gone. It's done. Good luck with your horse hunt."
Then I hung up. Thankfully that actually was the end of it. It was still ridiculous and stressful- 17 year old me wasn't nearly as self confident.
So that folks, is the real reason I don't hold horses without a deposit. I say non-refundable but if you have to cancel the sale due to reasons you can't control I'll refund the money, even though I'm out the time I could have used to sell the horse.
I had someone have to cancel a sale because their barn wanted lifetime long proof of vaccinations and vet history. Since I work with auction horses, this was a bit of an issue. I understand their reasoning but how many beginner safe, 12 year old horses for under a thousand dollars actually have lifetime proof of vaccination records on hand? Heck, most of the horses in my area don't even have vaccinations, period.
So that's my story. Sometime soon remind me to tell the story of why I always use a bill of sale/contract! I've got two doozies for that one! Both of which took off years of my life and probably gave me quite a few gray hairs. I'll let you know for sure if I ever stop dying it.
To end it on a better note, here's a photo update on Moose Man.
I finally found a horse that I don't make look like a runt! Amazing! Except for the part where I forgot the mounting block in the arena....
His first ride out of the arena- and it's on picture day in a strange pasture with no other horses. Yikes. I was a bit worried.
But he was actually a champ about it!
This is what happens when you say the word 'woah' to Moose at a trot. He slams on the breaks- so you better mean it if you say it.
At the end. Have you ever seen a horse look quite that proud of himself?
But he didn't have a single hissy fit the whole time and we walked and trotted! (It's a big deal with him- he used to throw a fit ever 5-10 feet or so. And trotting was asking for a freak out. He's even getting better about my lower leg touching his sides- he's overly sensitive and we've been working on it. ) He's come a long way and I was proud of him too.
But his expression still cracks me up.
Monday, January 13, 2014
No horses for stupid people- part two
More replies to some of the dumbest email inquires I get about horses for sale!
I did part one when I first started this blog and never got around to doing part two. Here's the link to part one:
http://terrorizedtrailguide.blogspot.com/2012/04/no-horses-for-stupid-people-part-one.html
Most of my replies on this one are the 'What I wanted to say' variety.
18.B: Is her price firm or are you open to offers? I've inquired about her several times and spoke to your mother but never received anything back from you. If you don't really want to sell her why don't you put her price higher?
Me: Good suggestion! I will, thanks! Also, take the damn hint! Maybe I haven't replied to you because I don't like you or think you're suitable?
( I had taken her off the market, as the ad said, at that time so I had not responded to her, plus she was annoying.)
19.B: Can you tell me more about her pedigree? Do you know her sire and dam's registered name and number? How far are you from Memphis, TN?
Me: .... Do you see the box that says she is NOT registered? There you go. If I knew her sire or dam had been registered, or even who the hell they were, don't you think I would have her registered since it ups the price considerably?! Also get your lazy ass on mapquest. You can see my town and you clearly have internet.
20. I love him. Horses are cheap right now but i would give 750 for him
Me: First off, she's a mare- that means she's a girl...with girl parts. Yes- horses are cheap right now, mainly quarter horses in our area. If you can find me another peruvian paso with her looks, gaits/ movement and training, we'll talk. I still wont sell you my horse because you are an idiot, but feel free to browse.
21. I love your horse and I would love to have your horse as my first horse.The first number is mine and the second is my dads.Call me or him at any time.I make $7 a week im sure I can have it payed off in about 3 years.Or just call my dad and he can pay you before I can...!!!!;)call or email ASAP.:)
Me: Oh sure thing, I'll get right on that! No wait... wrong response, how about no? God dammit she is not a kids horse! Quit sending me emails!
22. Hello (My full name) (what an incredibly beautiful name!)...I just came across your "profile" of this elegant Peruvian Paso mare, whom you are seeking to find another soul-mate-type home for. I notice that the status is "pending" -- could you explain? (Because my heart definitely feels connected to this sweetie...)
Me: Wait... what? When a sale status says 'sale pending' what it usually means is.... there's a sale pending pickup or payment. It's shocking but no matter how special and magical your *connection* may be, other people are interested in the horses too.
23. Hello, I know you are asking 5,500 but the horse market is low and she isn't a purebred. I'll give you 3,000 for her.
Me: Yes, it is low and no, you won't. You can just go buy one of the other beautiful, sweet, beginner safe, well trained friesians (especially a pure one) for that price... oh wait.... There really aren't any. Nice try.
Low balling me doesn't make me want to sell you my horse, it makes me want to reply with a snarky email. In fact, I don't think I've ever gone down for a lowballer. Now if you say, 'I really love your horse and I'd provide an excellent home but I just can't afford your asking price.' I'll work with you all day long.
24. I cant believe you haven't had her registered.
me: You know she's not a pure friesian right?
person: What? No, then you're asking a pretty high price....
me: Wait... you actually thought you could get a ride-able, beginner/kid safe registered friesian for $5,500?! Good luck with that, let me know how it goes for you. *snort* Try closer to $16,000.
Seriously, you arent going to find an adult registered friesian anywhere near that price at this time. Oh wait, you've seen them you say? Oh yes, you mean the beautiful, registered, anyone can ride friesians listed all over the internet. Feel free to email them. You'll get lots of emails back, I promise! If it's too good to be true, it is.
(Note: I ended up selling this horse across the country for more than my asking price. She's probably the one horse we wish we hadn't sold the most. Best disposition I've worked with and a saint of a babysitter. She was a gaited friesian x TWH cross. She's one I could put absolutely anyone up on and never worry about anything. She's possibly the only horse I can think of that I would put my mother up on after her hip injury and replacement. I had to sell her to pay for college.)
25. I got the email and link. I saw some of the pictures before it “froze” and directed me to refresh my computer or return to the site later, which I intend to do. However, I have an important question. Are all the pictures on this site of Morwen?
Me: Well, one horse is black and the other is a small bay with a white blaze on her forehead so.... no.
Me: * Yes, clearly both the black horse- who’s been in all the other 60 some pictures, is also standing next to herself in the same picture, and is magically shorter, bay and has a blaze. And switched riders/tack. Magic. Very important question without a doubt. *
26. dear, i am an old middle aged show ridder that has the smarts and compassion but lost my confidence.. i brooke my back and found peruvians my saviour...i have rescued also and will feed ahorse always first.. she has a beautiful nat headset i am interested but live far dont like to buy sight unseen or tried also will call you later my hubby has no idea of horse count....
Me: I think we may differ considerably in our definition of 'smarts'. Also Danza is a horse that needs a LOT of confidence.
27. I seen ur horse a while back think she is beautiful I have a paso my husband has layed clams on so I would Love 2 have one 2 ride with him.I have a bad back is she very smooth ?Does she have a fast largo my paso does and loves 2 move on out .As of now I only have 1200 4 a horse is the amount ur asking low dollor? Like 2 come and c her if u still have her .I ride with a group of Ladys that have pasos once u ride one u will own one.
Me: *Spell check; it's built into the web pages now so you have no excuse... I always want to email these people back with the correct version of their email and my blatent- hell no- reply.*
What you meant to say:
"I saw the ad for your horse a while ago and I think that she is beautiful. My husband currently has a paso that he has claimed for his own and I would love to have my own paso to ride with him. I have a bad back so I am interested in knowing how smooth her gaits are. How is her largo- is it fast?
I am afraid that I can only offer you $1,200. Are you firm on your price? I live in **** and I would like to come and see her (if you still have her). I ride with a group of 'paso' ladies who all agree that once you ride a paso you will want to own one. Thank you."
On a side note: this woman actually bought Danza and apparently just should never be allowed to touch a computer. With really really bad grammar... Danza liked her, that's what matters.
End note: Have large amount of hate for this woman again. I should have stuck to first instinct.
28.HI IS THE HORSE STILL AVAILABLEHI IS THE HORSE STILL AVAILABLE
Me: HIYESTHEHORSEISSTILLAVAILABLEHIYESTHEHORSEISSTILLAVAILABLE
29.i can not afford, a horse, so i can NOT buy her, but i was just looking for a horse for my one friend, and i saw read is and just love, her! and i love how you said no, show em who is bossers!
Me: Then why are you emailing me and wasting my time?! Also, thank you.
30. Good luck finding your wonderful horse a home - she sounds awesome! I have a TN Walker that I feel the exact way that you do - maybe you're trying to sell the wrong horse! You may only get one chance to have that special special horse in your life!
Me: *Why do you people keep emailing when the ad says 'serious inquires only'? Also I already have my special special horse, so hush. Just because I love the horse does not mean she is the right match for me. Also, as someone who's owned about 40+ horses and worked with even more, you probably have more than one chance. Just like you do with who you marry... *
31. "i would do two on her maybe three if you could deliver her to **** arkansas please let me know something"
M: "Hi, we have someone coming to get her this afternoon, assuming they 'click', and we have three people in line after them waiting to hear what they decide. Also, I paid more than two for her, not including medical expenses and feed, and it would cost over $80 in gas to deliver her, not including time, which I have none of because it is finals week.
I did part one when I first started this blog and never got around to doing part two. Here's the link to part one:
http://terrorizedtrailguide.blogspot.com/2012/04/no-horses-for-stupid-people-part-one.html
Most of my replies on this one are the 'What I wanted to say' variety.
18.B: Is her price firm or are you open to offers? I've inquired about her several times and spoke to your mother but never received anything back from you. If you don't really want to sell her why don't you put her price higher?
Me: Good suggestion! I will, thanks! Also, take the damn hint! Maybe I haven't replied to you because I don't like you or think you're suitable?
( I had taken her off the market, as the ad said, at that time so I had not responded to her, plus she was annoying.)
19.B: Can you tell me more about her pedigree? Do you know her sire and dam's registered name and number? How far are you from Memphis, TN?
Me: .... Do you see the box that says she is NOT registered? There you go. If I knew her sire or dam had been registered, or even who the hell they were, don't you think I would have her registered since it ups the price considerably?! Also get your lazy ass on mapquest. You can see my town and you clearly have internet.
20. I love him. Horses are cheap right now but i would give 750 for him
Me: First off, she's a mare- that means she's a girl...with girl parts. Yes- horses are cheap right now, mainly quarter horses in our area. If you can find me another peruvian paso with her looks, gaits/ movement and training, we'll talk. I still wont sell you my horse because you are an idiot, but feel free to browse.
21. I love your horse and I would love to have your horse as my first horse.The first number is mine and the second is my dads.Call me or him at any time.I make $7 a week im sure I can have it payed off in about 3 years.Or just call my dad and he can pay you before I can...!!!!;)call or email ASAP.:)
Me: Oh sure thing, I'll get right on that! No wait... wrong response, how about no? God dammit she is not a kids horse! Quit sending me emails!
22. Hello (My full name) (what an incredibly beautiful name!)...I just came across your "profile" of this elegant Peruvian Paso mare, whom you are seeking to find another soul-mate-type home for. I notice that the status is "pending" -- could you explain? (Because my heart definitely feels connected to this sweetie...)
Me: Wait... what? When a sale status says 'sale pending' what it usually means is.... there's a sale pending pickup or payment. It's shocking but no matter how special and magical your *connection* may be, other people are interested in the horses too.
23. Hello, I know you are asking 5,500 but the horse market is low and she isn't a purebred. I'll give you 3,000 for her.
Me: Yes, it is low and no, you won't. You can just go buy one of the other beautiful, sweet, beginner safe, well trained friesians (especially a pure one) for that price... oh wait.... There really aren't any. Nice try.
Low balling me doesn't make me want to sell you my horse, it makes me want to reply with a snarky email. In fact, I don't think I've ever gone down for a lowballer. Now if you say, 'I really love your horse and I'd provide an excellent home but I just can't afford your asking price.' I'll work with you all day long.
24. I cant believe you haven't had her registered.
me: You know she's not a pure friesian right?
person: What? No, then you're asking a pretty high price....
me: Wait... you actually thought you could get a ride-able, beginner/kid safe registered friesian for $5,500?! Good luck with that, let me know how it goes for you. *snort* Try closer to $16,000.
Seriously, you arent going to find an adult registered friesian anywhere near that price at this time. Oh wait, you've seen them you say? Oh yes, you mean the beautiful, registered, anyone can ride friesians listed all over the internet. Feel free to email them. You'll get lots of emails back, I promise! If it's too good to be true, it is.
(Note: I ended up selling this horse across the country for more than my asking price. She's probably the one horse we wish we hadn't sold the most. Best disposition I've worked with and a saint of a babysitter. She was a gaited friesian x TWH cross. She's one I could put absolutely anyone up on and never worry about anything. She's possibly the only horse I can think of that I would put my mother up on after her hip injury and replacement. I had to sell her to pay for college.)
My sisters (now ex) boyfriend riding his very first horse.
Remember, this is his very first ride on a horse-ever. The next day she took him on a trail ride.
If she'd been spunky and 'hot' I would have kept her for myself in a heart beat...
Friesians are excellent winter horses! Nice and warm! Also the feathers her previous owner had cut off had started to grow back.
25. I got the email and link. I saw some of the pictures before it “froze” and directed me to refresh my computer or return to the site later, which I intend to do. However, I have an important question. Are all the pictures on this site of Morwen?
Me: Well, one horse is black and the other is a small bay with a white blaze on her forehead so.... no.
Me: * Yes, clearly both the black horse- who’s been in all the other 60 some pictures, is also standing next to herself in the same picture, and is magically shorter, bay and has a blaze. And switched riders/tack. Magic. Very important question without a doubt. *
26. dear, i am an old middle aged show ridder that has the smarts and compassion but lost my confidence.. i brooke my back and found peruvians my saviour...i have rescued also and will feed ahorse always first.. she has a beautiful nat headset i am interested but live far dont like to buy sight unseen or tried also will call you later my hubby has no idea of horse count....
Me: I think we may differ considerably in our definition of 'smarts'. Also Danza is a horse that needs a LOT of confidence.
27. I seen ur horse a while back think she is beautiful I have a paso my husband has layed clams on so I would Love 2 have one 2 ride with him.I have a bad back is she very smooth ?Does she have a fast largo my paso does and loves 2 move on out .As of now I only have 1200 4 a horse is the amount ur asking low dollor? Like 2 come and c her if u still have her .I ride with a group of Ladys that have pasos once u ride one u will own one.
Me: *Spell check; it's built into the web pages now so you have no excuse... I always want to email these people back with the correct version of their email and my blatent- hell no- reply.*
What you meant to say:
"I saw the ad for your horse a while ago and I think that she is beautiful. My husband currently has a paso that he has claimed for his own and I would love to have my own paso to ride with him. I have a bad back so I am interested in knowing how smooth her gaits are. How is her largo- is it fast?
I am afraid that I can only offer you $1,200. Are you firm on your price? I live in **** and I would like to come and see her (if you still have her). I ride with a group of 'paso' ladies who all agree that once you ride a paso you will want to own one. Thank you."
On a side note: this woman actually bought Danza and apparently just should never be allowed to touch a computer. With really really bad grammar... Danza liked her, that's what matters.
End note: Have large amount of hate for this woman again. I should have stuck to first instinct.
28.HI IS THE HORSE STILL AVAILABLEHI IS THE HORSE STILL AVAILABLE
Me: HIYESTHEHORSEISSTILLAVAILABLEHIYESTHEHORSEISSTILLAVAILABLE
29.i can not afford, a horse, so i can NOT buy her, but i was just looking for a horse for my one friend, and i saw read is and just love, her! and i love how you said no, show em who is bossers!
Me: Then why are you emailing me and wasting my time?! Also, thank you.
30. Good luck finding your wonderful horse a home - she sounds awesome! I have a TN Walker that I feel the exact way that you do - maybe you're trying to sell the wrong horse! You may only get one chance to have that special special horse in your life!
Me: *Why do you people keep emailing when the ad says 'serious inquires only'? Also I already have my special special horse, so hush. Just because I love the horse does not mean she is the right match for me. Also, as someone who's owned about 40+ horses and worked with even more, you probably have more than one chance. Just like you do with who you marry... *
31. "i would do two on her maybe three if you could deliver her to **** arkansas please let me know something"
M: "Hi, we have someone coming to get her this afternoon, assuming they 'click', and we have three people in line after them waiting to hear what they decide. Also, I paid more than two for her, not including medical expenses and feed, and it would cost over $80 in gas to deliver her, not including time, which I have none of because it is finals week.
Thursday, January 9, 2014
Busty (Horsegirl) Problems
Possible over sharing- brought to you by my friend blackberry vodka. I'm 99% sure all of my readers are female anyway. I'm not sure about the lurkers, but if you're male then.... well, this is a post about boobs and bras. That's your warning.
So I've been spending too much money lately. It's on stuff I need mainly, but still! Dang, buying nice things new is expensive! Which is mainly why I don't ever do it.
I recently bought a helmet for Christmas ( about $50) then I bought myself 6 pairs of breeches (One was an accident! I bought two and bid on another thinking I'd be outbid- and then I wasn't. Then someone I bought the first pair from said they had 3 more- and they'd sell me them for $30, shipping included. So now I have 5 pairs of breeches... I bought them all used so they cost me about $60 for all 5. Which really isn't bad since the brands are: tuffrider, equilibre, tailoredsportsman, OnCourse and Equestrian Designs. And since a new pair of affordable breeches costs about $45-50 bucks.) So I can deal with that... I also wore my first pair of breeches and decided that I'm in love and never wearing jeans again... err, ever. I also bought some half chaps since I got an amazon gift card for Christmas that basically covered them.
Anyway, that all made me cringe because I hate spending money. But I figured if I'm going abroad to improve my riding and horsemanship, these are things I'm going to use. A lot. Why is horse stuff so damn expensive?!
But all that I could legitimize in my mind. The $55 I just spent on two bras..... Well, that one is harder. It's the Victoria secret semi annual sale so they were about half price, which helps, but still! I have never paid that much for a bra before in my life! In fact, I'm pretty well known for buying bras on sale at cheap stores or target and claiming that if they covered my boobs, they fit fine! I refused to get fitted because, well, the ones I had fit well enough... ... ... I thought.
Over break I (and The Boy's little sister) received $30 gift cards to Victoria secret and a $10 off coupon. So we went shopping. She made me get sized/fitted. It's the first time I've ever had it done. I was wearing a 36 C when I went in (I normally wore about a 36 D) and it turns out I'm a 34DD-34DDD. I found a bra, it normally cost $58. Yikes! Even with the card and coupon I don't think I've ever spent that much on a single bra in my entire life!
But this time I did. And I just bought another copy of it in tan during the sale tonight. What changed my mind? The fact that I realized I've been torturing myself for years to save a few bucks. (I might just be blogging about this to legitimize it to myself right now.)
When I rode I had to wear a tight fitting bra and a tight sports bra just to deal with a trot. Even then I'd spend time holding in my breasts to stop them from bouncing. On days when they hurt more than normal, we just wouldn't trot. It's honestly part of why I preferred gaited horses.
So I tried on the nice (it has memory fit!) bra and I did the 'trot' test. You know, the particular forward bounce you get on an uncomfortable horse. It didn't feel like someone was punching me in the chest. I tried it again- and it still didn't! Imagine my surprise when I got home, rode a horse- and I didn't have to hold my chest or try to ignore the awful bouncing.
I think I actually stopped and had a moment.
I never knew. Oh god, why did I not know!? Same goes for breeches- because damn those things are comfy. (I asked The Boy if he'd still like me if I never wore real pants again and just wore breeches. He said 'of course' and then asked for a picture of me wearing breeches. *hmph* Boys.)
So in case there are busty readers out there- if you don't have a perfectly fitted bra- get one. You'll like your horse so much more. I'm never going back. I even went through my bras and got rid of half a garbage bag full (no joke) of mediocre bras.
I love the comic: Busty Girl Problems. Because I'm pretty sure we're long lost twins.
http://bustygirlcomics.com/
So I've been spending too much money lately. It's on stuff I need mainly, but still! Dang, buying nice things new is expensive! Which is mainly why I don't ever do it.
I recently bought a helmet for Christmas ( about $50) then I bought myself 6 pairs of breeches (One was an accident! I bought two and bid on another thinking I'd be outbid- and then I wasn't. Then someone I bought the first pair from said they had 3 more- and they'd sell me them for $30, shipping included. So now I have 5 pairs of breeches... I bought them all used so they cost me about $60 for all 5. Which really isn't bad since the brands are: tuffrider, equilibre, tailoredsportsman, OnCourse and Equestrian Designs. And since a new pair of affordable breeches costs about $45-50 bucks.) So I can deal with that... I also wore my first pair of breeches and decided that I'm in love and never wearing jeans again... err, ever. I also bought some half chaps since I got an amazon gift card for Christmas that basically covered them.
Breeches are officially too warm and comfy to be replaced by pants.
Anyway, that all made me cringe because I hate spending money. But I figured if I'm going abroad to improve my riding and horsemanship, these are things I'm going to use. A lot. Why is horse stuff so damn expensive?!
But all that I could legitimize in my mind. The $55 I just spent on two bras..... Well, that one is harder. It's the Victoria secret semi annual sale so they were about half price, which helps, but still! I have never paid that much for a bra before in my life! In fact, I'm pretty well known for buying bras on sale at cheap stores or target and claiming that if they covered my boobs, they fit fine! I refused to get fitted because, well, the ones I had fit well enough... ... ... I thought.
My life: large boobs + previous back problems.
Over break I (and The Boy's little sister) received $30 gift cards to Victoria secret and a $10 off coupon. So we went shopping. She made me get sized/fitted. It's the first time I've ever had it done. I was wearing a 36 C when I went in (I normally wore about a 36 D) and it turns out I'm a 34DD-34DDD. I found a bra, it normally cost $58. Yikes! Even with the card and coupon I don't think I've ever spent that much on a single bra in my entire life!
But this time I did. And I just bought another copy of it in tan during the sale tonight. What changed my mind? The fact that I realized I've been torturing myself for years to save a few bucks. (I might just be blogging about this to legitimize it to myself right now.)
We don't need to be reminded to keep our 'chest up!'
When I rode I had to wear a tight fitting bra and a tight sports bra just to deal with a trot. Even then I'd spend time holding in my breasts to stop them from bouncing. On days when they hurt more than normal, we just wouldn't trot. It's honestly part of why I preferred gaited horses.
So I tried on the nice (it has memory fit!) bra and I did the 'trot' test. You know, the particular forward bounce you get on an uncomfortable horse. It didn't feel like someone was punching me in the chest. I tried it again- and it still didn't! Imagine my surprise when I got home, rode a horse- and I didn't have to hold my chest or try to ignore the awful bouncing.
I think I actually stopped and had a moment.
Stairs are evil torture devices made by men... so are speed bumps.
I never knew. Oh god, why did I not know!? Same goes for breeches- because damn those things are comfy. (I asked The Boy if he'd still like me if I never wore real pants again and just wore breeches. He said 'of course' and then asked for a picture of me wearing breeches. *hmph* Boys.)
...No. No it's not.
So in case there are busty readers out there- if you don't have a perfectly fitted bra- get one. You'll like your horse so much more. I'm never going back. I even went through my bras and got rid of half a garbage bag full (no joke) of mediocre bras.
I love the comic: Busty Girl Problems. Because I'm pretty sure we're long lost twins.
http://bustygirlcomics.com/
I can't do button ups.
Not bragging! We really do want them to go away. Trotting with small boobs was way better!
Tuesday, January 7, 2014
Things that only horse people find funny
Found on the Internet
Ten Ways To Get In Shape To Own A Horse
Drop a heavy steel object on your foot. Don't pick it up right away. Shout "Get off, stupid! Get off!"
Leap out of a moving vehicle and practice "Relaxing into the fall". Roll lithely into a ball, and spring to your feet!
Learn to grab your checkbook out of your purse/pocket and write out a $200. check without even looking down.
Jog long distances carrying a halter and holding out a carrot. Go ahead and tell the neighbors what you're doing.They might as well know now.
Affix a pair of reins to a moving freight train and practice pulling it to a halt. And smile as if you are really having fun.
6. Hone your fibbing skills. "See hon, moving hay bales is fun!" and " I'm glad your lucky performance and multi-million dollar horse won you first place - I'm just thankful that my hard work and actual ability won me second place".
Practice dialing your chiropractors number with both arms paralyzed to the shoulder, and one foot anchoring the lead rope of a frisky horse.
Borrow the US Army slogan; "Be all that you can be'...(add) bitten, thrown, kicked, slimed, trampled."
Lie face down in the mud in your most expensive riding clothes and repeat to yourself: "This is a learning experience, this is a learning experience,..."
Marry Money!
Important Horse Terminology!
Event Prospect = Big Fast Horse
Dressage Prospect = Big Slow Horse
Hack Prospect = Pretty Color
Sporting Prospect = Short Fast Horse
Barrel Prospect = Fast Horse which can turn
Endurance Prospect = Fast Horse which will turn sometimes
Flashy = White Socks
Stunning= Makes you say "Good god, is that thing a horse?!"
Attractive = Bay
15.2hh = 14.3hhh
16.2hh = 15.3hh
To Loving Home Only = Expensive
To Show Home Only = Very Expensive
Needs Experienced Rider = Potentially Lethal
Elegant = Thin
In Good Condition = Foundered
Free Moving = Bolts
Very Responsive= Sit still and hold on tight.
Rescue horse= most likely crazy, dangerous and untrusting.
Quiet = Lame in Both Front Legs
Dead Quiet = Lame in All Four Legs
Good in Traffic (Bombproof) = Lame all Round, Deaf and Blind
Loves Children = Kicks and Bites
Kids horse= Stubborn and never moves.
Pony Type = Small and Hairy and stubborn
Arab Type = Looks startled
TB Type = Looks Terrified
Quarter Horse Type = Fat
Warmblood Type = Big and Hairy
Draught Type = Big and Exceedingly Hairy
Easy to Catch = Very Old
Great prospect= Spoiled pasture pet.
Great Project horse= Dangerous and time consuming.
Greenbroke= Someone once sat on it.
Very people friendly= Thinks it's a dog.
Best when lounged first= This horse is a ticking energy bomb.
Must Sell = Wife has left home and taking kids
All Offers Considered = I am in Traction for 6 months
Reluctant = Sale Comes with Title Deeds to Sydney Harbor Bridge
You Know You're A Horse Person When...
...your horse gets new shoes more often than you do.
…your mouth waters at the sight of a truck full of hay.
...every time you drive past a road construction sight you think what nice jumps the barricades would make.
...you consider a golf course as a waste of good pasture land.
...your friends no longer ask to get together after school/work or on a weekend because they know you'll say, "I can't, I have to ride."
...you pull a $17,000 horse trailer with a $1,000 pick-up truck.
...you buy duct tape by the case, and carry rolls in your pocketbook, briefcase, backpack, and car trunk.
...you realize finding a horse shoe is truly lucky because you've saved ten bucks.
...your boyfriend complains that you love your horse more than you love him and you say: "And your point is..?"
...someone does something nice for you and you pat them on the neck and say 'good boy'.
...you try to get by someone is a restricted space and instead of saying "excuse me" to him/her, you cluck at them instead.
...you show up for an appointment in your city clothes and when you get there people reach across the table to pick alfalfa out of your hair.
...no one wants to ride in your car because they'll get sweet feed and hay in their socks and on their clothes...but that's ok because you'll have to rearrange all the tack to make room for them anyway!
...you look at all the piles of laundry sitting next to your washing machine and most of them are breeches, horse blankets, saddle pads, etc.... but you don't even care about the horsey hair residue that will be left in your washer and dryer.
...you say "whoa" to the dog.
...your mother, who has no grandchildren, gets cards addressed to Grandma, signed by the horses and dogs.
...you see the vet more than your child's pediatrician.
...you groom your horse daily for hours and you haven't seen a beautician since...?
...someone asks for a screwdriver and you hand them a hoof pick.
...you clean tack after every ride but you never, ever, wash the truck.
...on rainy days, you organize the tack room, not the house.
...you can remember worming schedules, lessons, and farrier visits in your head, but often forget your class schedule, household chores, and meals.
...you are unreasonably pleased to get a horse item, ANY horse item, as a gift.
...you stop channel surfing at Budweiser Clydesdale commercials.
...books and movies are ruined for you if horsemanship references aren't correct.
...you actually get to a point where flies don't bother you that much anymore.
These would be perfectly normal things to say in horse company, but not things you'd want to say in public or non-horse people might get the wrong idea!
Do you like my breast collar?
His sheath was really dirty, but I cleaned it.
In the winter, his Ass gets really hairy.
Don't jump on him, sit down gently.
What a lovely Jackass!
She wants to breed to my stud.
There's nothing like 17 hands between you legs!
Can I pet your Ass?
He had a bad attitude, so we castrated him.
He's got a lot of stamina, you can ride him all day long.
Is she a maiden?
I wanted to breed to her stud, but he's all booked this season.
You can come when we do the breeding.
He's really good at walking and pooping at the same time.
He didn't try to run away when we drove the nails in.
He broke his leg, so they shot him.
She bites her baby if it behaves badly.
She's on a new diet, she's only eating grass.
She just got a new rack.
If he's not good, just grab his lip and twist it.
When I'm done riding him, you can have a turn.
They cut his toe shorter and he walks better now.
If her baby nurses too hard she bites it.
He's much better if you ride him with a crop.
I jumped 4 feet high yesterday.
She's got a really nice, big, square butt.
What color are her gums?
The mother is black and the father is white, and the baby came out black and white spotted.
Don't worry, it's normal for his mouth to foam.
All of her babies have been sold overseas.
I know she's going to have a baby soon because her butt is soft.
Her baby started walking about 20 minutes after birth.
Her body was covered in 4-inch long hair, but I clipped it off.
He has trouble mounting her because she's so tall.
She likes to roll in the dirt after her bath.
He has 64 babies.
He goes outside in just a blanket.
He was about 6 months old when we branded him.
I have to use a stool to mount him.
If he's spilling his food on the ground, he might need a dentist.
I was listening to his gut sounds last night...
One testicle is visible, but I can't even feel the other one.
25 things a horse rider can say without sounding dirty:
1. I just cant get him to come!
2, Theres nothing like having 17 hands between your legs
3. I'm gonna get off now..
4, He needs a good 20 min warm-up...
5. Relax your body... dont pinch with your knees... go with the motion... open up your hip...
6. When he gets excited he really foams up
7. Give him his head...
8. I rode him yesterday, but Gwen is gonna ride him today...
9. Go ride Tyler... you'll like him... he'll be good for you...
10. Push!!! squeez!!! Pull Hard!!!
11. Smack him if he refuses!
12. You want his hindquarters to be balanced and even with yours
13. You look so good on him...
14. He's too much for her, maybe you should get on...
15. Make sure you release
16. Don't lean forward unless you want him to go faster
17. Dont pump too much
18. Squeeze and Release... Give and Take...
19. "How was he today?"
20. One-two- three- up! one- two- three- down! Up! Down! Up! down! Faster!
21. Keep his head up
22. If he doesn't get ridden 5 days a week het gets cranky.
23. You need spurs//crop with him...
24. "How many have you done today?"
25. I just love riding the big ones!!
HORSEMAN'S DICTIONARY
Auction - A popular, social gathering where you can change a horse from a financial liability into a liquid asset.
Barn Sour - An affliction common to horse people in northern climates during the winter months. Trudging through deep snow, pushing wheelbarrows through snow and beating out frozen water buckets tend to bring on this condition rapidly.
Big Name Trainer - Cult Leader: Horse owners follow them blindly, will gladly sell their homes, spend their children's college funds and their IRA's to support them- as they have a direct link to "The Most High Ones" (Judges).
Bog Spavin - The feeling of panic when riding through marshy area. Also used to refer to horses who throw a fit at having to go through water puddles.
Colic - The gastrointestinal result of eating at the food stands at horse shows.
Colt - What your mare always gives you when you want a filly. (also see Filly)
Contracted foot - The involuntary/instant reflex of curling one's toes up - right before a horse steps on your foot.
Corn - small callus growths formed from the continual wearing of cowboy boots.
Drench - Term used to describe the condition an owner is in after he administeres mineral oil to his horse.
Endurance ride - The end result when your horse spooks and runs away with you in the woods.
Equitation - The ability to keep a smile on your face and proper posture while your horse tries to crowhop, shy and buck his way around a show ring.
Feed - Expensive substance utlized in the manufacture of large quantities of manure.
Fences - Decorative perimeter structures built to give a horse something to chew on, scratch against and jump over (see inbreeding).
Filly - What your mare always gives you when you want a colt.
Flea-bitten - A condition of the lower extremities in horse owners who also own dogs and cats.
Flies - The excuse of choice a horse uses so he can kick you, buck you off or knock you over - he cannot be punished.
Founder - The discovery of your loose mare-some miles from your farm, usually in a flower bed or cornfield. Used like-"Hey, honey, I found'er."
Founder (2): A condition that happens to most people after Thanksgiving dinner
Frog - Small amphibious animal that emits a high-pitched squeal when stepped on.
Gallop- The customary gait a horse chooses when returning to the barn
Gates - Wooden or metal structures built to amuse horses.
Girth Sores- Painful swelling and abrasion made at the point of mid-section by fashionable large western belt buckles.
Green Broke - The color of the face of the person who has just gotten the training bill from the ‘Big Name Trainer.'
Grooming - The fine art of brushing the dirt from one's horse and applying it to your own body.
Grooms - Heavy, stationary objects used at horse shows to hold down lawn chairs and show bills.
Hay - A green itchy material that collects between layers of clothing, especially in unmentionable places.
Head Shy - A reluctance to use the public restrooms at a horse show. Always applies to pit toilets.
Head Tosser - A blonde-haired woman who wears fashion boots while working in the barn.
Heaves - The act of unloading a truckful of hay.
Hobbles - Describes the walking gait of a horse owner after his/her foot has been stepped on by his/her horse.
Hock - The financial condition that a horse owner goes into.
Hoof Pick - Useful, curbed metal tool tuilized to remove hardened dog doo from the treads of your tennis shoes.
Horse shoes - Expensive semi-circular projectiles that horses like to throw.
Inbreeding - The breeding results of broken/inadequate pasture fencing.
Jumping - The characteristic movement that an equine makes when given a vaccine or has his hooves trimmed.
Lameness - The condition of most riders after the first few rides each year; can be a chronic condition in weekend riders.
Lead Rope - A long apparatus instrumental in the administration of rope burns. Also used by excited horses to take a handler for a drag.
Longeing - A training method a horse uses on its owner with the purpose of making the owner spin in circles-rendering the owner dizzy and light-headed so that they get sick and pass out, so the horse can go back to grazing.
Manure spreader - Horse traders
Mosquitoes - Radar equipped blood sucking insects that typically reach the size of small birds.
Mustang - The type of horse your husband would gladly trade your favorite one for...preferably in a red convertible and V-8.
Overreaching - A descriptive term used to explain the condition your credit cards are in by the end of show season.
Parasites - Small children (no flames please) that get in your way when you work in the barn. Many gather in swarms at horse shows.
Pinto - A colorful (usually green) coat pattern found on a freshly washed and sparkling clean grey horse that was left unattended in his stall for ten minutes.
Pony - The true size of the stallion that you bred your mare to via transported semen-that was advertised as 15 hands tall.
Proud Flesh - The external reproductive organs flaunted by a stallion when a horse of any gender is present. Often displayed in halter classes.
Quarter Cracks - The comments that most Arabian owners make about the people who own Quarter Horses.
Quittor - A term trainers have commonly used to refer to their clients who come to their senses and pull horses out of their barns.
Race - What your heart does when you see the vet bill.
Rasp - An abrasive, long, flat metal tool used to remove excess skin from the nuckles.
Reins - Break-away leather device used to tie horses with.
Ringworms - Spectators who block your view and gather around the rail sides at horse shows.
Sacking out - A condition caused by Sleeping Sickenss (see below). The state of deep sleep a mare owner will be in at the time a mare actually goes into labor and foals.
Saddle - An expensive leather contraption manufactured to give the rider a false sense of security. Comes in many styles, all feature built-in ejector seats.
Saddle Sore - The way the rider's bottom feels the morning after the weekend at the horse show.
Sleeping Sickness - A disease peculiar to mare owners while waiting for their mares to foal. Caused by nights of lost sleep, symptoms include irritability, red baggy eyes and a zombie-like waking state. Can last several weeks.
Splint - An apparatus that can be applied to various body parts of a rider due to the parting of the ways of a horse and his passenger.
Stall - What your truck does on the way to a horse show, fifty miles from the closest town.
Tack Room - A room where every item necessary to work with or train your horse has been put, in a place which it cannot be found in less than 30 minutes.
Twisted Gut - The feeling deep inside that most riders get before their classes at a show.
Versatility - an owners ability to shovel manure, fix fences and chase down a loose horse in one afternoon.
Vet Catalog - An illustrated brochure provided to stable owners that features a wide array of products that are currently out of stock or have been dropped from a company's inventory.
Weaving - The movement a horse trailer makes while going down the road with a rambunctious horse in it.
Whip Marks - The tell-tale raised welts on the face of a rider-caused by the trail rider directly in front of you letting a low hanging branch go. (Also caused by a wet or dry horse tail across the face while cleaning hooves.
Windpuffs - Stallion owners. Also applied to used car salesmen.
Withers - The reason you'll seldom see a man riding bareback.
Yearling - the age at which all horses completely forget the things you taught them previously.
Youngstock - A general term used for all equines old enough to bite, kick or run you over, but not yet old enough to dump you on the ground.
Zoo - The typical atmosphere around most horse farms
Monday, January 6, 2014
Cold Cold Cold Weather and my Super 'Glamorous' Horse Work
I mentioned in my last post that I hate the cold. Amazingly it's still true. Actually it's even more true. Earlier today weather.com said it was 7 degrees but felt like -2. In Arkansas. What the hell?! I mean, I know we had a mild summer but this is ridiculous.
I pulled Moose's blanket off him to work him today (bareback of course- it's cold and he's warm!) and I swear he shot me a 'what the fuck is wrong with you?!!' look. We made it exactly one lap around the pasture before I admitted defeat. My face was dying from the wind and I realized if he decided to act up I really, really did not want to fall off of a 16.2 hand horse onto the frozen ground. Sure he was being good today but do I really want to take that risk with my personal safety? *Innocent look*
In this cold weather we wanted the horses to have access to hay all day instead of getting fed morning and night and since I knew it was going to be extra cold this week they even got high protein content bermuda to munch on. At $40 a bale they'd better be happy... And thank god for water heaters....
Also we made a hay saver out of cut down hay pallets. It's worked amazingly- it's stopped them from pulling a lot of hay out and peeing or pooping on it. It was easy to make and works better than the metal hay rings, doesn't pull out the horses manes and it's super cheap to make. Just some pallets and wire for materials. As a bonus if it rains I'm going to convert my 'practice poles' into a 'tarp' poles to keep the rain off.
The budget horseman's hay saver! We're in the process of making slow feeders as well.
Anyway, I was catching up with a friend earlier and I was telling him about what I do and he mentioned how cool he thought my job was. I get this reaction a lot. I was in Miami (in the upstairs of an art exhibit/studio for a friend's birthday) and people who worked as professional dancers and instructors, artists and fashion designers all said how cool they thought what I do was. I don't really know WHY since most of my job is manual labor.... rather gross manual labor. It's not exactly glamorous work.
My usual look when I get the 'Wow! Your job is so cool and awesome!' exclamation from non horse people.
I think all they think working with horses is petting them, cuddling with them and riding around in pretty white breeches. Probably. ( Also I just bought several pair of breeches and a pair of half chaps in preparation for my time abroad.) This is NOT what I think of when I think about my job.. In fact I think a lot of these following things are true for most horse owners who have non horse people friends.
Getting dumped on my bum and being sore for a few weeks.
Horses eating my money... most of the time not literally. Also how much everything related to horses costs...
Horses injuring themselves on anything and everything. And the vet bills that come from treating them.
Getting dumped by a horse who took off- with my car keys, water bottle and cell phone. (I literally put them in the saddle bag for remounting when he started bucking and ran off. I spent the rest of the afternoon trying to find him. (In 5000 acres of trails....) That day made me hate my riding boots, although I guess there's a reason they aren't walking boots.
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I pulled Moose's blanket off him to work him today (bareback of course- it's cold and he's warm!) and I swear he shot me a 'what the fuck is wrong with you?!!' look. We made it exactly one lap around the pasture before I admitted defeat. My face was dying from the wind and I realized if he decided to act up I really, really did not want to fall off of a 16.2 hand horse onto the frozen ground. Sure he was being good today but do I really want to take that risk with my personal safety? *Innocent look*
In this cold weather we wanted the horses to have access to hay all day instead of getting fed morning and night and since I knew it was going to be extra cold this week they even got high protein content bermuda to munch on. At $40 a bale they'd better be happy... And thank god for water heaters....
Also we made a hay saver out of cut down hay pallets. It's worked amazingly- it's stopped them from pulling a lot of hay out and peeing or pooping on it. It was easy to make and works better than the metal hay rings, doesn't pull out the horses manes and it's super cheap to make. Just some pallets and wire for materials. As a bonus if it rains I'm going to convert my 'practice poles' into a 'tarp' poles to keep the rain off.
Anyway, I was catching up with a friend earlier and I was telling him about what I do and he mentioned how cool he thought my job was. I get this reaction a lot. I was in Miami (in the upstairs of an art exhibit/studio for a friend's birthday) and people who worked as professional dancers and instructors, artists and fashion designers all said how cool they thought what I do was. I don't really know WHY since most of my job is manual labor.... rather gross manual labor. It's not exactly glamorous work.
My usual look when I get the 'Wow! Your job is so cool and awesome!' exclamation from non horse people.
I think all they think working with horses is petting them, cuddling with them and riding around in pretty white breeches. Probably. ( Also I just bought several pair of breeches and a pair of half chaps in preparation for my time abroad.) This is NOT what I think of when I think about my job.. In fact I think a lot of these following things are true for most horse owners who have non horse people friends.
When I think about what I do, I think about:
Horses eating my money... most of the time not literally. Also how much everything related to horses costs...
Horses injuring themselves on anything and everything. And the vet bills that come from treating them.
I came to work one day to find that one of the horses had impaled himself on a T post. (He didn't have caps.) This is why T post caps are a good thing folks. I had some guests complaining that their ride wasn't on time. I tried explaining that I was doctoring a horse who I'd just found injured. (My boss refused to take him to the vet. I threw a fit- I was so mad.) When I led him up and said that this was the horse they turned green and shut up. As a side note he healed fine and didn't even have a scar.
Getting dumped by a horse who took off- with my car keys, water bottle and cell phone. (I literally put them in the saddle bag for remounting when he started bucking and ran off. I spent the rest of the afternoon trying to find him. (In 5000 acres of trails....) That day made me hate my riding boots, although I guess there's a reason they aren't walking boots.
RIP pretty shiny bridle, bit and new reins... This is me after I finally captured my horse. After walking the trails for several hours. Then borrowing a horse from a stranger back at base camp and riding out with them to try and find my horse. Then driving around in my moms car (after I called with the nice peoples phone) and yelling until I lost my voice. Then as we were giving up for the night guess who we ran into wandering back to camp? Yep. So I lured him with a bucket of dirt and grabbed his halter... then he drug me for about 15 feet before giving up (because there was no way in HELL that I was). Fun day. Fun job.
Super fun times...
Me after getting bucked off, spraining about every finger, getting a concussion, cracking some ribs etc. Oh and I had the flu. I still had to go to work even though I was throwing up off my horse. Then I got my wisdom teeth out the next day.
This part of horse work every horse person knows: manure. Lots and lots of manure and horse pee. In your boots because you forgot your muck boots. Also the moment when you're trying to muck out your pasture or a stall and a nugget of old manure flies up off the pitchfork and hits you in the face
Then there's riding and feeding in the freezing cold.
Also riding and spraying down horses when it's 115 degrees outside.
Blanketing with frozen hands and a burned out barn light.
Horse fly bites. Especially those big black suckers where the bite swells up, gets hot and itches for a week or two.
Fly spray getting into your mouth when the wind changes direction suddenly.
Chasing horses that don't like being caught. Bonus points if you're trying to catch them to blanket them because it's freezing and raining.
Staying up all night with horse with colic when you're exhausted and want to die.
Unloading bales of hay when you're super hungover.
Horses spooking at goblins and invisible monsters.
Riding with sore muscles and a butt that's so sore from constant riding that you need lady anti monkey butt powder. (It's a real thing.)
Hauling 50 lb bags of grain around.
Never having nails- and never being able to have them unpainted because of all the dirt under them.
Trying to teach two huge horses what personal space means.
Horses dropping your cell phone into the water trough.
(I had my phone in a fanny pack and I placed it by the gate while I was working another horse. I came back and couldn't find my fanny pack. Then I looked in the water trough..... It'd been in there for about an hour. Amazingly my phone still worked after it dried out, but this is why I leave my phone in the house or the barn now.)
Always smelling like horse and being covered in horse hair.
Constantly rocking helmet hair combined with leg and butt sweat from riding bareback.
Going out at 3 am because it's cold outside and you heard rain on your window... which means you need to give the horses extra food in hay bags in their stalls (because they won't go in on their own) and putting on blankets.
Or if you're me in college: leaving a party or being late for a party because you had to rush home and take care of a horse thing.
Turning people down who want to hang out because you have to do 'horse things'. I learned this when I was a teenager.
Owning a 'magical' white horse or a paint... who's usually an attractive shade of brown or green. Then spending several hours scrubbing them clean.
Falling asleep on the couch at a party because you had to get up early for work and because weekends were your busiest days.
Warming a frozen bit in your hands or against your stomach because you don't want your horse to get a mouthful of cold metal.
Trying to convince your friends or strangers with kids that no really, you cant and don't want to ride my horse... No, I don't have any horses that your kid can ride right now. No, I'm not just being a jerk or lazy.
Cancelling plans, that'd been made well in advance, to show a horse to someone who just called and wanted to come out right away.
The sheer number of people that say they're coming to see your horse- who flake out with no call or email.
People who promise they know how to ride and can handle an experienced rider only horse, who show up in flip flops and complain that the horse is too much horse for them...
Horses who have always been calm and not spooky suddenly turning into hot flighty messes when people come out to try them. Then turning back to themselves once the people leave.
(I once had a horse who figured out when people came to see her and would act up something awful until they left. The second they started to pull away she'd go back to normal. Most frustrating horse to sell I've ever had.)
All of the idiots you meet trying to sell a horse. Also all the idiots you meet buying a horse.
A totally not steady income and no workers comp if you get injured and can't work.
There are lots more, but that's what comes to my mind when I think about how 'super cool and awesome' my job it. Looking at all those things listed out, you want to know what I really think about what I do?
I think I love my job. I don't know what I'd rather do than work with horses.
I've met some of the most amazing horses and some truly wonderful people along the way.
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